It’s not illegal to beat your meat, as long as it doesn’t lead to a violent altercation.
The police were called in Germany, when a 61-year-old man verbally and physically assaulted his neighbor. The attacker was furious because there was “loud pounding of the meat” as the neighbor was making schnitzel.
He may have had a legitimate beef if it happened during quiet hours, but that’s not clear.
When the police showed up, the meat-beater said the neighbor insulted him and slapped him in the face. There’s no word on any charges or citations.
Speaking of meat-related crimes, a guy in Florida was accused of stealing more than $100 worth of sausage from a Walmart a few weeks back.
He knew what he was doing. He filled a cart with 20 packages of sausage. Then moved away from surveillance cameras . . . loaded the meat into his backpack . . . and walked out without paying.
He left on a bike, but the cops caught up with him down the road. He was arrested for theft.