Shortly after Love Island host Caroline Flack‘s death was officially ruled a suicide, her family released a social media post she wrote in late December. She was advised to not publish it at the time.
As fans will recall, Flack had been arrested in December for assaulting her boyfriend Lewis Burton with a lamp. She had reportedly threatened police that she would commit suicide if she was charged in the case; despite Burton dropping the charges and defending her online, police did indeed charge her.
In the post, she wrote: “This kind of scrutiny and speculation is a lot to take on for one person to take on their own… I'm a human being at the end of the day and I'm not going to be silenced when I have a story to tell and a life to keep going with …. I'm taking some time out to get feeling better and learn some lessons from situations I've got myself into to.”
She continued: “For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it's become the normal. I've been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life – for my whole life. I've accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it's all part of my job. No complaining. The problem with brushing things under the carpet is …. they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.”
In reference to the arrest, she wrote: “Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen.”
Flack continued: “I've been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time. But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident. The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal.”
She concluded the post: “The reason I am talking today is because my family can't take anymore. I've lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment. I can't spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone,” she said. “I'm not thinking about 'how I'm going to get my career back.' I'm thinking about how I'm going to get mine and my family's life back.”
If you need help, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-274-TALK.