After weeks of enduring what she calls as a "deserved global punishment," Chrissy Teigen has issued a lengthy apology to people she has hurt. All of this was sparked after Courtney Stodden, who identifies as non-binary, told The Daily Beast that she harassed and bullied then on social media for years. Teigen apologized, calling herself an "insecure, attention seeking troll," took a break from her social platforms, and exited her role in Netflix’s Never Have I Ever amid the controversy.
But the criticism continued.
In her apology, Teigen said she hoped to speak to Stodden. "I understand that they may not want to speak to me," she wrote. "I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs."
She said she’s "in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted."
Teigen said she’s "truly ashamed" by her mean-spirited tweets, she also noted there's "no excuse."
"My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor," she shared. "I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry."
"Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core. I’ll honestly get sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my a**hole past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after. I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings. How could I not stop and think of that?" she asked. "Why did I think there was some invisible psycho-celebrity formula that prevents anyone with more followers from experiencing pain? How did I not realize my words were cruel? What gave me the right to say these things?"
A NEW PERSON?
"I’m telling you this for context, not seeking or deserving any sympathy," Teigen continued. "There’s no justification for my behavior. I’m not a victim here. The subjects of your sympathy — and mine — should be those I put down."
She continued: "I grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY.”
Teigen added: "Life has made me more empathetic. I’m more understanding of what motivates trolling — the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they’re famous. Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me."
"We are all more than our worst moments," Teigen wrote. "I won’t ask for your forgiveness, only your patience and tolerance. I ask that you allow me, as I promise to allow you, to own past mistakes and be given the opportunity to seek self improvement and change."