Former Love Island host Caroline Flack told police she would kill herself if she got charged in an attack on her boyfriend, according to reports. She was arrested in December after her 27-year-old boyfriend Lewis Burton called emergency services “almost begging” for help.

When police arrived, they found the pair covered in so much blood it was “like a horror movie,” court testimony shows. The 40-year-old reportedly smashed a lamp over his head. Flack was also self-harmed in the fight, according to reports, and was treated for medics for 12 hours before being questioned by police.

When police spoke with her she admitted she “did it,” but said “that she will kill herself” if charged, according to court reports.

Despite Burton withdrawing his complaint, she was charged. Flack was reportedly “terrified” that bodycam footage showing her naked, covered in blood and extremely upset would be show in court.

According to People, the night before she died, paramedics were called to her home in London. Her trial was set to commence in March.