Kim Kardashian opened up about the difficulties she faces as a parent on a forthcoming episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast. The Kardashians star said being a mother is the “most challenging” yet “rewarding” experience of her life.

“There are nights I cry myself to sleep. Like, holy s–t, this f–king tornado in my house. Like, what just happened?” she said. Kardashian has four children with her ex-husband, Kanye “Ye” West: nine-year-old North, seven-year-old Saint, five-year-old Chicago, and four-year-old Psalm.

The SKIMS founder added that although parenting is “full madness” at times, it is the “best chaos.”