Robert Pattinson opened the doors to his inner psyche for Allure, and man did some strange observations fly out.

Apparently, he smells like crayons: “Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon,” he says, adding, “Like I’m embalmed.”

The 33-year-old continues to wax poetic about his least and most favored scents: “Definitely the scent of when you’re in love with someone, and the smell is incredible. It brings out an animal side of being human. And the worst smell … I don’t really mind grimy stuff. I love the smell of things people really hate, but burning hair is revolting.”

And despite science having declared him the most handsome man in the world, he doesn’t quite see it that way: “I never was really up for the good-looking-guy roles, because I’ve always been quite awkward when meeting people.”

Pattinson continues: “And then in Twilight, Edward is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. When I turned up for the audition, I had done a job where I’d dyed my hair black, but I had an inch and a half of roots, and I had waxed my body. And then I had a few months where I’d been drinking beer all day, so I had this hairless, chubby body. I looked like a baby with a wig on. After I did Twilight, my friends said, ‘Oh, you’re posing all of the time,’ and I’m like, ‘What are you talking about? I’m just standing. And none of you thought I was good-looking two years ago!"”