At 29, Sarah Hyland is entering a new era after starring as Haley Dunphy on Modern Family for 11 seasons. She covers Cosmopolitan and inside, admits that she can’t believe it’s over, and hasn’t even had a chance to feel sad yet. 

“I don’t think I’m processing,” she tells the magazine. “I haven’t really felt the sadness yet.”

To make matters more complicated, she wasn’t thrilled with the ending, she says, explaining that she would have liked to have seen her character “own her bada**ery in the fashion world — becoming a bad** stylist or brand mogul or anything like that.”

Instead, she became a mother of twins, and didn’t work outside of the house. “There are so many amazing mothers who are also hard workers and excel at their jobs and kill it every day in both aspects. That would have been a really cool thing to see, especially from someone like Haley.”

She also discusses her romance with fiancé Wells Adams, which started online: “It’s the most millennial thing in the entire world. I kind of want to gag at it.”