Sarah Paulson covers Harper’s Bazaar’s October issue and inside, she calls out the “ageist” critics of her relationship with Holland Taylor. (They share a 32-year age gape).

“To feel that I belong to anyone other than a person I would like to belong to, like Holland or my dog or my best friend or my sister … a bunch of strangers claiming me as their own feels a little confusing,” she tells writer Roxane Gay, who authored The New York Times best-selling collection of essays Bad Feminist. “Since I’m not an expert at figuring out how to move around it, I end up giving more than I want to sometimes.”

When Gay asks why people are so obsessed with a 45-year-old dating a 77-year-old, she said it reflects “our own ageist thinking and the idea that to be old is to cease to have any desire.” She adds: “Anybody says anything about any person I love in a way that is disrespectful or cruel and I want to cut a b**ch.”