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MORONS IN THE NEWS: A Fugitive Snuck Off, After Putting His Ankle Monitor on a Dog

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If you’re looking at the tracking data for a court-ordered ankle monitor, and it looks like the person is prancing around in a backyard, and lifting their leg by a bush, there might be a problem.

The authorities in upstate New York are currently searching for a man who skipped a court appearance earlier this week.

They looked at the tracking data from his GPS ankle monitor, and realized he’d apparently cut it off, and “affixed it to a DOG.” (???)

The fugitive’s name is Lamont Holmes and he was supposed to be in court for a hearing on weapons charges. As far as we know, he’s still on the loose.

It sounds like the dog is fine. It’s unclear if the dog belongs to Lamont, or someone else. They also haven’t said if Lamont will be facing additional charges. He’s already looking at up to 15 years behind bars.