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MORONS IN THE NEWS: Man Stole Lego Figures, Replacing Them with Pasta

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This guy could be the RAVIOLI RASCAL or the LINGUINE LOOTER. Or the PASTAFARIAN PIRATE. I’ll stop!

A 28-year-old man in California named Jarrelle Augustine was arrested after allegedly stealing valuable Lego figurines from sets . . . and replacing them with bags of dried pasta.

If you’re wondering why the pasta was involved, it was apparently to mimic the weight and rattling sound of the Lego pieces.

Jarrelle would buy Lego sets from Target stores . . . replace the figurines with dried “durum wheat semolina pasta” . . . and return the sets to the stores to get cash refunds. And he did this at least 70 times before being caught, stealing $34,000 worth of merchandise.

He was charged with grand theft. The police joked, “If your master plan involves swapping Legos for linguine, we can promise your plan will be cooked al dente.”