The Hills: New Beginnings star Kaitlynn Carter admits that her recent very public romance and split with Miley Cyrus did a number on her. The 31-year-old chatted with costar Whitney Port on Instagram Live, and detailed the downward spiral she went on.

“What happened to me, basically just after Miley and I went our separate ways, I thought, ‘Okay, my life’s just kinda going back to the way it normally was for me when I’m on my own,’ ” Carter recalled. “I had no expectations that anyone would give a s— about me by myself. I had no plan in place. I didn’t think about anything.”

She was mistaken. The public was fascinated by the relationship and split, which came on the heels of Carter’s breakup with husband Brody Jenner and Cyrus’ split from Liam Hemsworth. She recalled being “mortified” when reports emerged that she is “partying with a mystery man just two weeks after her breakup.”

“I had never thought about what my narrative even was or what it was going to be,” she said. “I had always gone with the flow or whatever people say they say, I don’t care.”

“In relationships especially, I have always taken a back seat a little bit and sort of trusted the person I’m with to run the show, especially publicly because it’s never really been something that I wanted,” Carter continued. “I never really wanted to put myself out there that way.”